Wilson Mizner

"The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in."

"All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long."

"Failure has gone to his head."

"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."

"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."

"Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up."