Les Dawson

"Despite the fact that feminists say they're not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful."

"I know my name will always be linked with women."

"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'"

"In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet."

"Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up."

"The mother-in-law is the centre of a family."

"With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever."